It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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