she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my being single is dangerous.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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