we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
