now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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