You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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