Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did I show you my penis last night?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
