Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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