Will you blow on my dice?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
