Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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