That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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