We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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