you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
