we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
