i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
