Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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