OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize