Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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