I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
