I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
