fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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