She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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