i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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