Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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