Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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