Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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