she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
