ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
