i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
