I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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