I didn't shave. On purpose
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
