why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
