we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
