Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
