She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
