I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
