It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
