Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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