I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
