Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
