SEEEEXXX PLEASE
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
