the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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