You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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