I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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