its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
