It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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