I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Drunk is a universal language darling
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
