I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
