Im at strip club and am horny
You just made me feel so damn special
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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