Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
