Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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