I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
