ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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