And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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