I think my vagina is haunted
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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