That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
