At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
