He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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