And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
