There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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