THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
